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26 October 2008 @ 02:27 pm
It's wrong?  
So I was browsing through some other single mom/dad blogs today, and have come across some opinions that I'm not quite sure how I feel about.

I understand that there are going to be a lot of different views across the world wide web, and that it would be one boring place if we all felt the same way, but this is in regard to the timeliness of dating again.

I guess maybe I always considered my marriage different from most, being that we spent more than half of it apart. I promise all of you that I didn't take my vows lightly, and tried everything under the sun to "fix" us and make the marriage work. But every time we went through online affair after online affair, I guess part of me was just counting on the day that I would give him the choice, and have the courage to really mean it. It was like each time it was uncovered, I cried a little less, and got a little bit stronger and felt the love go away a little bit more. I felt so trapped for so long. After I got out of the Navy, I was a SAHM with two SMALL children. I had no income and no where to go. He could do as he pleased, and I had to just sit back and take it, and he knew it. It wasn't until I finally came clean to my family and friends about what was truly going on in my life did I find my way out. I had put on the happy face for a very long time in hopes that things would someday change. But they didn't, and they won't. One person can't hold a marriage together if the other has no desire to be there.

So, while I understand the argument of not being emotionally available..and maybe I'm not. But I'm also 23. And if I want to date around a bit, just because I never got a chance to when I was younger, and I'm open and honest with people about my situation, I don't see why I shouldn't. He is. He has a new girlfriend already, and he's happy as hell, and I'm happy for him. Really, and honestly. Because when he's happy, that less he's making my life miserable. =) Even though I probably should, I don't hate him. I don't have the time or energy to waste on such a useless emotion. And he doesn't hate me. We got married before we really knew each other, had a family before we should have, and everything snow balled from there. What's done is done, and I think we're both ok with moving on and finding happiness on our own. I know that I don't want to be married anytime soon. I would like to date someone for at least 4-5 years before taking that plunge again (A. and I were only together 6 months before we got married) and I know that I don't want any more children for at least that time plus some, and I'm honest with people about my feelings on that, then I guess I don't see the issue.

I was a loving, and faithful wife for the 3 1/2 years that we were married. He cheated. He broke the vows. He threw in the final towel. So I guess I don't see anything wrong with living it up for awhile, but hey, maybe that's just me.
Mood: contemplativecontemplative
tsquest on October 27th, 2008 01:23 am (UTC)
Love your blog!
Thanks for commenting and linking to mine. I love what I've read so far. You are freakin' adorable too!!!

Hang in there.
abrightfuture.wordpress.com on October 27th, 2008 10:06 am (UTC)
Thanks for stopping by and I'm excited to read more of what you're written.

On this topic, one I've written extensively about, I think each of us should be able to make our own decisions. We should each do what is right for us at this point in our life. And I think we, as single parents, should support one another in that decision.

So live it up and enjoy!!!
(Anonymous) on October 27th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC)
I love the "200 main" title of your blog. As for dating - yes, live it up. Go find a man. Be happy. Date for a long time before you marry. You're right that all these bloggers have different views on dating and ex's and parenting. You have to do what's right for you.

btw - I couldn't figure out how to leave my blog URL as part of my name, so here it is: http://dadshouseblog.com