So I was browsing through some other single mom/dad blogs today, and have come across some opinions that I'm not quite sure how I feel about.

I understand that there are going to be a lot of different views across the world wide web, and that it would be one boring place if we all felt the same way, but this is in regard to the timeliness of dating again.

I guess maybe I always considered my marriage different from most, being that we spent more than half of it apart. I promise all of you that I didn't take my vows lightly, and tried everything under the sun to "fix" us and make the marriage work. But every time we went through online affair after online affair, I guess part of me was just counting on the day that I would give him the choice, and have the courage to really mean it. It was like each time it was uncovered, I cried a little less, and got a little bit stronger and felt the love go away a little bit more. I felt so trapped for so long. After I got out of the Navy, I was a SAHM with two SMALL children. I had no income and no where to go. He could do as he pleased, and I had to just sit back and take it, and he knew it. It wasn't until I finally came clean to my family and friends about what was truly going on in my life did I find my way out. I had put on the happy face for a very long time in hopes that things would someday change. But they didn't, and they won't. One person can't hold a marriage together if the other has no desire to be there.

So, while I understand the argument of not being emotionally available..and maybe I'm not. But I'm also 23. And if I want to date around a bit, just because I never got a chance to when I was younger, and I'm open and honest with people about my situation, I don't see why I shouldn't. He is. He has a new girlfriend already, and he's happy as hell, and I'm happy for him. Really, and honestly. Because when he's happy, that less he's making my life miserable. =) Even though I probably should, I don't hate him. I don't have the time or energy to waste on such a useless emotion. And he doesn't hate me. We got married before we really knew each other, had a family before we should have, and everything snow balled from there. What's done is done, and I think we're both ok with moving on and finding happiness on our own. I know that I don't want to be married anytime soon. I would like to date someone for at least 4-5 years before taking that plunge again (A. and I were only together 6 months before we got married) and I know that I don't want any more children for at least that time plus some, and I'm honest with people about my feelings on that, then I guess I don't see the issue.

I was a loving, and faithful wife for the 3 1/2 years that we were married. He cheated. He broke the vows. He threw in the final towel. So I guess I don't see anything wrong with living it up for awhile, but hey, maybe that's just me.

Divorcee and single mom of two at the ripe young age twenty-three. Ask me five years ago if I thought that I'd be here, and I would have laughed in your face.

I guess I should start off with a little backstory...I'll do the quick recap for you so I won't bore...

I joined the Navy at eighteen.
Met and married -A. at nineteen.
Had -B. at twenty.
Had -C. at twenty-two.
Throw in three deployments in that mix, and about a half a dozen online affairs on his part, varying in degrees, and that should bring you up to speed.

I warned him that I wouldn't keep forgiving him, and that one day his apologies and false promises were going to fall on deaf ears once he got me to the point that I no longer believed him. And I caught him for the last time. I originally had agreed to wait until he got home from Iraq and we would go to counseling, but another girl just fell in my lap again, without me even having to look. He's not willing to do anything on his part to save the marriage, won't give up passwords, or delete accounts, or go to counseling, and now says that he doesn't think he's "ready" to be married. Nice. Thanks for realizing that three and a half years and two children into our marriage. So here I am, living back at my parents house with my little girls, and as humble as ever.

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I'm starting this blog to help me get myself back on my feet, both in mind and in body. I'm going to have to learn the ropes of being a newly single mom of a rebellious two year old and a very curious 11 month old, become a full time student, find a job again after being a stay at home mom for over a year, and the insanely scary feat of trying to date again. =)