I'm not going to lie. I forgot about you for a little bit. Things have been a little hectic, so please forgive my transgression.

I guess we'll get right down to it and say that Sexy Boy is still a creep. He's a hot creep, but a creep none-the-less. I still talk to him occasionally for fun, but there's definitely not any potential there. Such a shame, because again, I repeat, he's hot.

Furniture Guy is still around. He's certainly holding his own, I'll give him that. He's actually REALLY great. But I feel like he wants so much more than I can give him right now. He even asked me to move in already (!!), which is crazy, I know. It's only been like 3 weeks. He says that he understands that I want to take things slow, but he's never felt this way about anyone before, and he doesn't want to lose me either. So yeah, I don't know where to go on that one. If I didn't actually like him, I'd probably end things right off the bat, because he's far more serious than I'm ready for, but he's so supportive of my situation, he thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread (I mean, duh!) and he wants to give me everything I've ever dreamed of. I feel like I'd be a fool to just brush him off so soon. He treats me like a princess, and he's the biggest gentleman I've ever met. I hate to just give him up, and then six months down the line totally regret it.

My problem with all of this, is I never got to test the water. Furniture Guy is the FIRST guy I've dated since the separation. I can't fall for my rebound. Isn't there a rule against that??? How can I date around a little bit to make sure my feelings are for sure, without hurting his feelings? This whole dating thing totally sucks. I need to find a book or something. I have no clue what I'm doing.

On a lighter note, I did meet some fun locals the other night. Sadly, on the same night my precious Eagles lost to the Cowboys. I was a sad girl. Anyway, I met these guys, all super nice and my age (for once!). Strictly friendly, at least for now. This guy Wolfy and I have been texting a bit, but if I have a crush on anyone it will be for his friend Softball Dude. Now he's yummy. I spotted him earlier in the day at the gas station filling his cooler in the back of his El Camino. We exchanged lingering glances only to find ourselves hanging out randomly later that night. Fate, perhaps? I guess we'll find out. =)

Well, I seem to have myself in a bit of a pickle already. Could that maybe be a record?

I don't even really know how I got here...or, I guess I do, but I definitely didn't anticipate results so soon.

When I joined the Navy out of high school, my parents saw it as prime opportunity to move. Regardless that I was born and raised in the same town my entire life, they saw it fit to pack up and move three hours south, and about thirty miles from the beach. I guess they didn't anticipate me moving back either, but it's still the point. I don't know know anyone. So I had the bright idea to sign myself up for match.com. I haven't dated in over four years, so I figured it couldn't hurt to at least see what is out there. I know, I know, silly right?

Anyway, on my, all of two and a half days on the site, I met Furniture Guy. He's 26 and also new to the area. He just got a job as a Furniture Salesman about 40 minutes from here. He's really sweet, very funny, totally ok with the girls and genuinely interested in my relationship with them. He's really understanding of my situation, and is so sweet about not wanting to pressure me and suggested working on our friendship first if I'm not ready for more. I mean, he's great, right? He just seems like a super fun guy, and we have a lot in common. We talked for two hours on the phone last night, and have been emailing and texting now for a few days. I could really see it going somewhere if just for the fact that he's such a caring person, combined with everything else that's awesome about him.

But then today, out of the blue, Sexy Boy, from my past, pops up. He friended me on myspace, and I wrote him back saying to add me on facebook, since I'm deleting my myspace until the dust settles from the seperation/divorce. I think a few months will do. So after writing me back, he gets my IM name from facebook, and writes me. The scoop on Sexy Boy is there is a LOAD of sexual tension between us. I mean, a boat load. I met him when I was around 16 or 17 and he was five years older, which would make him 28 right now. Nothing serious happened between us, probably because of the age issue and just the situation in general, but I liked him a lot. He's big, and strong, and sexy and everything that attracts me to a man. And he wasn't far off when he insinuated today that I married a "crappier" version of him. Actually, there might be some truth to that and it scares me a little. He was saying how he always liked me, but then I left for the Navy without saying goodbye, and when he found me again, I was already married so he couldn't say anything. And I guess today, when I said I was getting a divorce, he finally woke up. But so many red flags are going off here. Him and A. have so much in common. Would I be setting myself up for the next trap, or was I only ever drawn to A. because of my repressed feelings for Sexy Boy? Could Sexy Boy be who I wanted all along? He was pretty clear that he doesn't want a hookup, and that he wants me as his(!), so I don't even know.

I think I may be in over my head. I am not cut out for dating, I never was. Am I rushing things to much? But again, I'm not the one who couldn't stay commited and faithful. I even said I would go to counseling with A. if he was willing to do whatever it took to save us and he decided his privacy was more important, so that's not my fault. I've always been good at relationships, and I was good at being a wife. So does that mean I should punish myself forever because I picked the wrong husband? I wish I had some sort of a sign.

On a different note, I have a job interview tomorrow! It's not the hours or the position I was looking for, so I'm still going to apply elsewhere, but for whatever reason they still wanted me to interview. Cross fingers for me! I haven't interviewed for anything since I was, um, 16? So I'm a tad bit nervous.